Three Cleaning Scenarios & Their Solutions

So you got the call, email, or heard thru the grapevine that you are fixing to have company… Now what?

I consider a few factors:

How much prep time do we (I) have? Do I like these people? Does my husband like them? Will cooking be involved? Are they Wanderers? (You know the type~~ “Show me your house!”  What’s up with that? I think it’s rude ~ but hey that’s me.)

Lets assume we like them, no cooking is involved (or nuke a hunk of Velveeta, crack open some chips and call it good) and they are not Wanderers…

That leaves Prep Time, on which I will expand a little.

1. Oodles of time, a week or more:

Easy as pie. You can cover all bases at your leisure, and have Perfect House upon their arrival.  Unless you are me and blow it off. See item 3.

2. A weeknight to prepare:

You can fold the clothes on the loveseat (putting them away optional~ they look good in the basket folded), run a broom over the main parts of the house, swab the toilets, put away the dishes on the drainboard, have a glass of wine to take the edge off, vacuum the cat fur off of the sofa, basically just hit the high spots you know they will encounter on their visit. No biggie.

3. A commercial break’s time to prepare:

Holy Sh*t! Okay, don’t panic, you can do this. One thing I strongly suggest at this point is DO NOT OPEN THE WINE YET. It is suggested however, that you turn on the ceiling fans (regardless of the temperature ~ blame it on menopause if you have to). Why? If you have seen the blades on my ceiling fans you would not question this. One word. SCORFUS. What is scorfus? It’s the combination of every thing that floats in the air in your house and gathers in embarrassing places (it’s called “dustbunnies” if hidden ~ ain’t that cute?). Its favorite spot is ceiling fan blades. Turning them on hides it pretty well. A word of caution, it will come flying off and into the face of your guests if you reverse the direction of the spin!  Scorfus also likes to welcome visitors from the little place on the toilet that’s between the seat and the tank. You know the spot. That’s a design flaw in my opinion, what were they thinking? Oh well~ more on toilets later. Wipe that spot as you hurriedly spray some really clean smelling potion all over the toilet & do a under seat check before the flush. Kick dirty clothes under the nearest available piece of skirted furniture, and close bedroom doors. If your kitchen is a mess, fill the sink with lots of bubbles, put on an apron and yellow gloves, and greet your guests as if you are cleaning up after a recent gourmet meal (that they just missed). This also helps deter them from asking for food. Oh yeah, get hubby to spray room freshener around but use it sparingly, it can be an embarrassing giveaway to your panic. If you have a litter box for your cat, put it outside for the duration of the visit, kitty will be quaking under the bed anyway and won’t need it at that time. You can’t cover cat box smell up with anything on the planet, so don’t try. Now… open that bottle and enjoy your company. After all, isn’t friends and family what its all about?

 

© Copyright 2011 Leegay, All rights Reserved. Written For: Truth In Decorating

About Leegay

My husband and I live in the Texas Hill Country with a herd of animals and a million projects. We wouldn't have it any other way. Although being a big lottery winner might not be so bad.
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One Response to Three Cleaning Scenarios & Their Solutions

  1. Aunt Martha says:

    I am all over this advice! Scorfus… is the plural to that scorfii? Just asking.

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